A guide to having therapy
- kerry7539
- 7 hours ago
- 3 min read
Deciding to have therapy can be daunting, especially if you’ve never had therapy
before. Often people think they should be able to manage everything alone but going
to a therapist can give you more control over your situation in a place to explore your
thoughts, feelings and experiences. It’s important to choose the right therapist. Here
are some tips to help you navigate finding a therapist and engaging with therapy.
1. There are different types of therapy. You may have had therapy before and
not found it helpful. It’s worth thinking whether it was the type of therapy or the
therapist. Here is a glossary of therapy types to help you decide which kind
may be best for you https://www.bacp.co.uk/about-therapy/types-of-therapy/
You may also choose your therapist based on their bio. See if something the
bio says resonates with you and if you feel you’d like to work with them.
2. When choosing a therapist, think about if there are characteristics or
experience you’d prefer your therapist to have. Is it important for them to have
the same or gender and/or race as you or not. Do you want them to have
specialities in certain areas that relate to your lived experience? LGBTQ+
issues, Neurodiversity etc.
3. Check out the various counsellor directories or ask friends for
recommendations but remember that someone who may have felt like a
perfect fit for one person is not necessarily going to be the best therapist you.
4. Check your potential therapists’ credentials. Do they mention their
qualifications in their bio? Are they registered members of any official therapy
bodies? (e.g. BACP or UKCP etc.). Unfortunately, ‘therapist’ is not a legally
protected term in the UK so you want to make sure your chosen therapist is
fully qualified.
5. You don’t have to pick the first therapist you speak to. It’s important that you
find the person who best fits your needs. Don’t feel bad if you turn down
working with a therapist. I encourage clients to go away and think about
whether they want to work with me after our initial chat as it’s important to find
the right person.
6. If after speaking to a therapist they decline working with you, please try not to
take this personally or feel that you’ve done something wrong. They may feel
that someone else would be better suited for your needs or perhaps the work
is outside of their level of competency.
7. You shouldn’t be forced to share anything you don’t want to and the space is
yours to use as you want. There’s no wrong or right way for you to do therapy.
Just be yourself. A good therapist will move at your pace and support you in
sharing what you are comfortable sharing. Building a trusting relationship is
important.
8. Crying in therapy is common. It’s nothing to feel ashamed or embarrassed
about. It can be a fantastic release. Often people apologise or feel awkward
about crying but it’s common to happen, especially when exploring emotions
you’ve been avoiding. Crying is being in control of your emotions and
expressing them healthily. If you don’t cry however, there’s nothing wrong with
that either. You should feel free to express anything you need to in the way
you want to.
9. Sometimes the work will feel really challenging but a good therapist will make
sure you feel safe and held therapeutically. Remember you’re in control of
what you talk about and when. If it feels a bit much at any point you can ask to
change the subject and come back to it.
10. If you ever feel misunderstood, angry or dissappointed by your therapist, don’t be afraid
to bring it up in the session. A good therapist should welcome feedback and
work with it. They shouldn’t get defensive or blame you. Therapists should
also be open to admitting mistakes they have made during your sessions (e.g.
if they have misinterpreted something you’ve said or unintentionally made you
feel angry or hurt).
11. Ruptures in the therapeutic relationship can be common and discussing them
can really help the process of therapy. Here is a great article about ruptures
psychotherapy-and-how-to-deal-with-them/
12. You don’t have to stay with your therapist if you feel they’re no longer right for
you. If you feel like leaving them, bring up your concerns and see how they
respond. This can help you navigating leaving or it may alleviate your
concerns. Having the right therapist for you is vital to ensure the best possible
outcome. There will also be a point you perhaps feel you no longer need
therapy or want a break to process. Bring this up with your therapist and they
should be happy to facilitate an ending session with you to reflect on the work
you’ve done together.
Written by Kerry Nortcliffe. Kerry is a qualified Psychotherapist and Founder/ Director of Full Beam
www.fullbeam.org For more information please contact kerry@fullbeam.org